Finally

Finally, last night, came the tears. I think it's the first time I've actually cried about the "could I have failed it any more dramatically?" failed cycle. I guess it was about time. The tears started and they couldn't be stopped. I cried for my overwhelming feelings of uselessness.

I feel like I'm in an emotional prison and the escape key has been snapped in two. I think I'm on the solitary block, and I don't WANT visitors.

I need to snap out of it, I need to man up and accept my life (no point in womaning up, apparently I'm not woman enough for some stuff), but how do I do that?

I have no idea.