Another good ultrasound today. Jenn is 8w4d today and actually measured right on target today at 8w4d which is excellent! Baby Ariel as the baby has become known is 19.6mm up from 11.6mm last week.
For the first time baby Ariel is actually starting to take a baby shape, she (I am going to use she, I don't like it) she has arms and legs and everything! The heartbeat came up straight away and we all gave a big sigh of relief!
Jenn is craving foods right now, but still no morning sickness, so we hope for her sake that's the way it stays!
One week until the next ultrasound.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Enjoying the moment
I won't pretend this journey isn't a difficult one, we know too much and we've seen so much sadness and pain. However twice in the last week I've been shown it's important to stop expecting the sad and instead learn to enjoy the moment.
The first was last week on the way home from the ultrasound, when Jenn commented that although she does understand how hard this can be and nothing is certain, that she prefers (and our baby deserves) for us to enjoy the time this little life is with us regardless of how long that may turn out to be.
The second was today when I went to Church with Patti (my MIL) and this verse was included in the message;
"If we already have something , we don't need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don't yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently" ~ Romans 8
As it happens this verse is actually talking about looking to the future and waiting for eternal life, but as Patti told me on the way home, as soon as it was read out she immediately thought of us worrying about the outcome of this pregnancy and how we really do have to trust God and turn our worry over to him, our job is to wait patiently and confidently.
I am so lucky to have such strong compassionate people in my life who help to steer me back towards the right path when I get a little lost.
(thank you)
The first was last week on the way home from the ultrasound, when Jenn commented that although she does understand how hard this can be and nothing is certain, that she prefers (and our baby deserves) for us to enjoy the time this little life is with us regardless of how long that may turn out to be.
The second was today when I went to Church with Patti (my MIL) and this verse was included in the message;
"If we already have something , we don't need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don't yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently" ~ Romans 8
As it happens this verse is actually talking about looking to the future and waiting for eternal life, but as Patti told me on the way home, as soon as it was read out she immediately thought of us worrying about the outcome of this pregnancy and how we really do have to trust God and turn our worry over to him, our job is to wait patiently and confidently.
I am so lucky to have such strong compassionate people in my life who help to steer me back towards the right path when I get a little lost.
(thank you)
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Jenn has popped!
In case you didn't read that right, it is POPPED, not pooped!
I saw Jenn today and was excited when she showed me she has already popped!! She has a cute little bump hiding under her jumper. I've read that the tummy often pops early after a first baby, but who knew it would be this early? It's so cool to see outward evidence of what's going on inside!
Time to start the belly shots I think Jenn, no pressure or anything!
I saw Jenn today and was excited when she showed me she has already popped!! She has a cute little bump hiding under her jumper. I've read that the tummy often pops early after a first baby, but who knew it would be this early? It's so cool to see outward evidence of what's going on inside!
Time to start the belly shots I think Jenn, no pressure or anything!
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
7w4d
Our ultrasound this morning was perfect, right on track. Last week our bean measured 6w2d and exactly one week later measures 7w2d, so a perfect weeks growth. We are actually at 7w4d but a couple of days either way is fine at this point.
Our bean is not so little anymore, last week bean was 5.1mm and today was 11.6mm more than double!! Nice bean growing Jenn!!
At the moment you can only see a big blog and the yolk sac. I am lead to believe (by Jenn!) that the bean could be laying head down to the left and feet upwards (ish). I am clearly not good at this guessing game because I had it completely the other way round.
I think it's possible by next week bean will look more baby like and less white blob!
Our bean is not so little anymore, last week bean was 5.1mm and today was 11.6mm more than double!! Nice bean growing Jenn!!
At the moment you can only see a big blog and the yolk sac. I am lead to believe (by Jenn!) that the bean could be laying head down to the left and feet upwards (ish). I am clearly not good at this guessing game because I had it completely the other way round.
I think it's possible by next week bean will look more baby like and less white blob!
Monday, January 18, 2010
One Good Thing
I was really kind of hoping it'd be twins, since we put in two embryos. I'll just be honest and say that even after the first ultrasound I wasn't fully convinced we wouldn't find a second baby at the next ultrasound. But it appears that after all it was meant to be one.
One good thing about that is that I may have a chance at a regular delivery. My OB pretty much does automatic C-sections with twins unless both twins are head down, so I really didn't stand a chance of a normal delivery when I was pregnant with my surro-twins. They were changing positions right up until delivery! And because a C-section is a major surgery, only one person can be in the operating room. All through the pregnancy on my first journey I had this image in my head of getting to see the parents when they first saw their babies, and because of the C-section, that moment never really happened. The mom was in the room with me, but I was REALLY anxious about the C-section and really couldn't pay any attention to her. She brought one twin over to me at one point, but I don't think I could even turn my head, I was just focusing on not flipping out about being cut open! The other twin was wisked off to the NICU (fluid in her lungs due to the C-section), and then the mom and twin A both left as well. Ironically, my husband was in the recovery room, and HE got to witness the joyful moment where the baby and his parents met for the first time! I wasn't wheeled in until much later, and even then I remember being very dizzy and disoriented from the medications from the C-section.
So, in a way, one baby is a good thing. It means a more normal pregnancy (hopefully), and a natural birth (hopefully). I pretty much had panic attacks for weeks after the C-section; I was totally unprepared for how traumatizing it was, so I'd love to avoid that this time if at all possible. It'll be a little over 18 months between births, so hopefully that is plenty to try for a regular birth. I had my second child without pain medications and would LOVE to go that route with this pregnancy. I'd be so honored to get to see that first moment when K, C, their little ones, and this baby meet each other for the first time.
One good thing about that is that I may have a chance at a regular delivery. My OB pretty much does automatic C-sections with twins unless both twins are head down, so I really didn't stand a chance of a normal delivery when I was pregnant with my surro-twins. They were changing positions right up until delivery! And because a C-section is a major surgery, only one person can be in the operating room. All through the pregnancy on my first journey I had this image in my head of getting to see the parents when they first saw their babies, and because of the C-section, that moment never really happened. The mom was in the room with me, but I was REALLY anxious about the C-section and really couldn't pay any attention to her. She brought one twin over to me at one point, but I don't think I could even turn my head, I was just focusing on not flipping out about being cut open! The other twin was wisked off to the NICU (fluid in her lungs due to the C-section), and then the mom and twin A both left as well. Ironically, my husband was in the recovery room, and HE got to witness the joyful moment where the baby and his parents met for the first time! I wasn't wheeled in until much later, and even then I remember being very dizzy and disoriented from the medications from the C-section.
So, in a way, one baby is a good thing. It means a more normal pregnancy (hopefully), and a natural birth (hopefully). I pretty much had panic attacks for weeks after the C-section; I was totally unprepared for how traumatizing it was, so I'd love to avoid that this time if at all possible. It'll be a little over 18 months between births, so hopefully that is plenty to try for a regular birth. I had my second child without pain medications and would LOVE to go that route with this pregnancy. I'd be so honored to get to see that first moment when K, C, their little ones, and this baby meet each other for the first time.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
I am starting to believe (just a little bit)
............that this might really be happening.
Every so often I let my mind wander to what it will be like with a set of 3 year old twins and a newborn. If I'm honest, it's quite impossible to imagine since I have no clue what a newborn is actually like / needs / does. I am unequipped in this area. My experience starts at 14 and a half months times 2 and even that was quite a blur.
When I begin to dream and believe I am bought back to reality by the IVF veteran and infertile side of me who just knows way too much. A heartbeat is a good thing, I know the statistics, but I also know of way too many real woman who saw the heartbeat but never had the joy of meeting their child.
This will pass I know, every week will be a week closer to the miracle of a new life in our family. Every night we pray for God to keep Jenn and our little bean safe from harm, he's heard our prayers before, I know he's a busy man but I hope he has the time to listen to us now.
eta: I just realised I never did a blog entry about hearing the heartbeat! Jenn updated (thank you) since I was sick the day of the last ultrasound and didn't log onto my computer for a couple of days. Chris, myself and the kids all went since we couldn't find a sitter! It was a lot of people in a very small room, but it was fine and we saw exactly what we hoped to see and that was a flickering little heartbeat! I can't remember a whole lot since I really was quite poorly, but second to seeing a positive pregnancy test, it's probably the most amazing thing I've ever seen! Sarah and Jacob were both given a copy of the ultrasound picture and they have named the new baby Ariel. I'm not sure if we'll be sticking with that, especially if it's a boy!
Every so often I let my mind wander to what it will be like with a set of 3 year old twins and a newborn. If I'm honest, it's quite impossible to imagine since I have no clue what a newborn is actually like / needs / does. I am unequipped in this area. My experience starts at 14 and a half months times 2 and even that was quite a blur.
When I begin to dream and believe I am bought back to reality by the IVF veteran and infertile side of me who just knows way too much. A heartbeat is a good thing, I know the statistics, but I also know of way too many real woman who saw the heartbeat but never had the joy of meeting their child.
This will pass I know, every week will be a week closer to the miracle of a new life in our family. Every night we pray for God to keep Jenn and our little bean safe from harm, he's heard our prayers before, I know he's a busy man but I hope he has the time to listen to us now.
eta: I just realised I never did a blog entry about hearing the heartbeat! Jenn updated (thank you) since I was sick the day of the last ultrasound and didn't log onto my computer for a couple of days. Chris, myself and the kids all went since we couldn't find a sitter! It was a lot of people in a very small room, but it was fine and we saw exactly what we hoped to see and that was a flickering little heartbeat! I can't remember a whole lot since I really was quite poorly, but second to seeing a positive pregnancy test, it's probably the most amazing thing I've ever seen! Sarah and Jacob were both given a copy of the ultrasound picture and they have named the new baby Ariel. I'm not sure if we'll be sticking with that, especially if it's a boy!
Thursday, January 14, 2010
7 weeks tomorrow!
I'll be 7 weeks tomorrow! I'm kind of excited. That means I only have 80 more shots to go before I no longer have to do injections. Considering how many I've done so far, 80 sounds great. We have another ultrasound coming up on the 19th, so stay tuned for that!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Usually I let Kirsten do the updating, but...
Just thought I'd make a quick post about our ultrasound today. Our appointment was a 6:30 am, and we managed to squeeze K, C and both of their little ones, plus myself a doctor and a nurse into the u/s room! We saw one little heart beating away on the screen. The baby measured 6 weeks 2 days, and I am (I think) 6 weeks 3 days, so we were all very pleased. I'm sure Kirsten will have the u/s picture up later today!
Monday, January 4, 2010
1 or 2? (revisited)
When we saw just 1 gestational sac this morning I was both happy and sad. Here are my thoughts on 1 or 2?
2 ~ Just 1 means we lost 1 embryo. It's never a good feeling to find an embryo, a chance of life didn't make it.
~ We are used to a life of 2. So far everything we've done is 2. We have 2 of everything and we like it that way. We are happy with things coming in 2's, 1 does seem kind of strange!
~ The OCD part of me likes even numbers. 2 is cool, 4 is cool, 3 is uneven!
1 ~ Just 1 means so many good things.
~ 1 is safer for Jenn and the baby
~ Caring for 3 will be doable, 4 would be overwhelming
~ It is easier to enjoy the joys of 1 small child than keeping on top of the needs of 2
If we had seen 2 on the ultrasound this morning, we would have counted our blessings twice over, and we still will if by some chance another one pops up at a future ultrasound. However, knowing there is probably only 1 is an amazing blessing that we are so thankful for.
2 ~ Just 1 means we lost 1 embryo. It's never a good feeling to find an embryo, a chance of life didn't make it.
~ We are used to a life of 2. So far everything we've done is 2. We have 2 of everything and we like it that way. We are happy with things coming in 2's, 1 does seem kind of strange!
~ The OCD part of me likes even numbers. 2 is cool, 4 is cool, 3 is uneven!
1 ~ Just 1 means so many good things.
~ 1 is safer for Jenn and the baby
~ Caring for 3 will be doable, 4 would be overwhelming
~ It is easier to enjoy the joys of 1 small child than keeping on top of the needs of 2
If we had seen 2 on the ultrasound this morning, we would have counted our blessings twice over, and we still will if by some chance another one pops up at a future ultrasound. However, knowing there is probably only 1 is an amazing blessing that we are so thankful for.
One perfect miracle ~ 5w3d
All bets are off. It's one tiny baby. Everything looks great for this early stage in the game. No heartbeat yet, that won't come until next week. Our nurse had a good look around to see if there was one or two, but at this point (and it's unlikely to change) there is one tiny little bean.
More later, the little people are looking for attention!
More later, the little people are looking for attention!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
1,699
Jenn sneaked in another beta test at Kaiser, Go Jenn!!
Yesterday the numbers were 1,699 a doubling time of 54 hours. We are all very happy with that and can rest easier over the weekend and look forward to Monday's ultrasound.
We were in Costco today when Jenn texted the news to my phone. I've never seen Chris so happy in Costco before!
Yesterday the numbers were 1,699 a doubling time of 54 hours. We are all very happy with that and can rest easier over the weekend and look forward to Monday's ultrasound.
We were in Costco today when Jenn texted the news to my phone. I've never seen Chris so happy in Costco before!
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