Whether it be surrogacy, domestic adoption or being content with the amazing children we are already I can't deny I feel a tinge of sadness to be shutting the door on further IVF transfers (to me).
At this point we are well aware that transferring embryos to me gives us a slim chance of pregnancy, but despite being very slim, it's still there, the *chance*.
It's not so much the actual pregnancy, I came to terms long ago that the chances of carrying a child were slight, and I'm fine with that, I know that being pregnant is not the important part of raising a family. However, I can't help but be sad that I am walking away from that chance to join "the club". It's a club that such a huge percentage of people are allowed to join. There is only one rule of the club ~ you have to be female ~ and I know I have that one down. You don't have to be clever, pretty, thin, educated, funny, or anything else, just female.
I know in the long run it doesn't matter, and I also know it won't come up in conversation very often. But it will matter, just occasionally, and I'll always know there was one thing I wasn't allowed to do, for whatever reason.
So I'm saying goodbye to the miracle of carrying a child, I'm sad but I'm incredibly lucky that someone believes in Chris and I so much as parents that she wants to carry a miracle for us and that beats joining any club, in my book.
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I know what you mean. Even if there is a 1% hope each cyle, it's still there. It definitely is a letting go process. And even with our amazing babies it still bugs me that I can't do what every other woman can do. it will always be part of who we are; but if that's the worst thing that befalls us, we are extraordinarily lucky (especially given that we both have kids now).
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