Our birth stories

Jenn;

For me, the birth story of little Evan really starts almost two years ago when I delivered twin babies via ceserean section. Prior to the c-section, I had two vaginal births--my own two children. Once I had the c-section, I knew that if I ever got pregnant again, I faced either a repeat c-section or a trial of labor, where a patient can attempt a vaginal birth after a prior c-section.

During my pregnancy with Evan, Kirsten went to all the appointments, and we spoke with two different doctors about the safest choice for delivering this precious little guy. Our first doctor felt that vbac was only safe when the patient has had at least two years between deliveries. Since I would be delivering Evan about 20 months after I had the c-section with the twins, she felt that I was not a good candidate for vbac. Kirsten and I talked about it, and we decided to get a second opinion. Our next doctor was much more open to vbac, and said that it was a safe option for me.

So here we had two opposing opinions--and ultimately the decision lay with me. I told Kirsten and Chris that I would defer to them--if they really wanted me to have a c-section, I would. But they insisted on defering to me, reasoning that they trusted that I would make whatever decision was safest. I have to say, I spent a lot of time thinking about and researching vbac vs. elective repeat ceserean; I felt a weight on my shoulders to make the right decision. Finally I decided to try a vbac.

On day 1 of my 37th week, Kirsten and I went to a regular ob appointment. The midwife checked me, and I was dialated to 1cm and 50 percent effaced. Knowing women can be dialated to 1cm for weeks, I thought delivery was a ways away still. That night though, I had a long string of contractions--about 11 in the hour before I went to bed. That gave me pause, and I thought that I might go into labor that night. I didn't, but when I woke up that next morning, I had some spotting.

I called Labor and Delivery, and they said the bleeding was from the exam and had nothing to do with labor. They were wrong though, and I had a feeling that they were wrong anyway, so I started counting contractions. I called Kirsten to let her know that I thought it was delivery day. The contractions got stronger and closer together as the day went by, and I called Labor and Delivery again in the afternoon to ask them when I should come in. They told me not to come in until I couldn't bear the pain.

Around 9:30 pm, I told Kirsten that I would probably be going in within the next few hours. She replied that she was going to take a nap then. A few minutes later, I changed my mind! Labor is like that for me; the pain is not bad until in an instant it just hits me. I knew I had to get to the hospital soon. I called her back and they set off for the hospital.

We got there at 10 pm and they checked me in triage. I was 6 cm already! I was glad because I was in a lot of pain and if I was only a 3 or 4 I would have been really disapointed. They asked me about pain medication, and I said I didn't want any. They knew I was a vbac patient, so I had to stay constantly on the monitors and was not allowed to get up for any thing. This is a challenging thing when you don't have any pain medication. I like to stand in labor, but this was not allowed!

At one point, things got a little crazy. I was in triage waiting to be admitted and the baby's heart rate was going down after each contraction. Since this is an early sign of possible uterine rupture (the main risk of vbac), they literally whisked me down the hall to another room to be monitored more closely. I was not allowed to move--I had to stay on my side, I could not get up to pee, the nurses were speaking in urgent voices and I was really confused about what was going on. Kirsten and Chris were still in the lobby because in triage you cannot have more than one visitor, so we planned to get them when I was admitted. Later I realized I was very close to having a c-section. If Baby Evan had not calmed down within a few minutes I would have been whisked to the operating room for a c-section.

Fortunately, he relaxed within a few minutes and Kirsten and Chris came in. A few minutes later, the doctor came in to explain the risks of vbac vs. repeat elective c-section vs. emergency c-section and I had to sign consents just in case. Then, the midwife came in to check me and break my water. She checked me and I was already 7 to 8 cm--it had only been about 30 minutes since I was last checked! She broke my water and said labor would move faster now.

Boy, was she right! She literally stepped out of the room and not two minutes later I felt the urge to push. I said something to Raymond, my husband, how I knew it was crazy but I felt like he was coming already. He called the nurse and when she came in I explained that I thought I had to push and how I knew that was impossible because I was just checked a minute prior and was 7 cm. She checked me and when she was checking me, it hit me dead on--he was coming out right then!

I remember she pressed a button and said I was about to deliver and the midwife came rushing in. They were all screaming at me not to push and I was screaming back that I couldn't help it and that he was coming out! I remember Raymond telling me to breathe, lol, as if breathing was important at that moment. Evan's head was already out by the time the doctor had her gloves on, and I remember saying, "Kirsten, come see, you are missing it!" because I could see them huddled in the corner of the room probably thinking I was crazy! She came to the bed and then there he was--out and on my chest and they were cleaning him off. He was born at 11:26 pm, 1 hour and 30 minutes from the time I arrived at the hospital.

Chris cut the cord, and I remember the nurses saying they would take a picture, but Kirsten was so overwhelmed that she didn't even know how to turn the camera on. I remember when he came out, I said, "That was easy!", lol, it wasn't easy, but I think I was astonished at how fast the last part happened.

They weighed him, and he was 6 pounds 12 ounces, 19 and 3/4 inches long. He wasn't breathing right and the nicu people came in for a bit, but it turned out he was fine.

Giving birth, at least for me, is such an empowering experience. When I was pregnant with the twins (my first surrogacy), I knew that in all liklihood it would be a c-section. What I didn't know was how powerless I would feel during the c-section and after as I recovered. I hated everything about the c-section, except that it was the way the doctors felt was safest for my surro-twins to be born. It was a necessary evil. I endured it, but it made me feel so dissatisfied with the birth experience. Not that my first surrogacy was a bad experience at all--it was perfect in every way. I'm referring only to the birth aspect, not the relationship with the parents or the ongoing contact, etc. All that was and is perfect, really. But the c-section was kind of like the pin that popped my perfect bubble at the end of a perfect journey, if that makes sense. This birth has allowed me to heal a bit. It may not make sense to others, but I was searching for that perfect birth experience, where I felt like I was doing what my body was telling me and allowing the course of nature to take place. I am so thankful Kirsten and Chris were open to a vbac, and that we found a doctor who felt it was a safe option. Evan's birth will always stick out to me because it gave me that satisfying ending.

Kirsten;

It was a routine 37 week doctors’ appointment on Friday August 13 that ultimately turned into the birth of baby Evan! We discovered at the appointment that the fluid around the baby might be low and we were sent to the hospital for monitoring. At the hospital they decided that the fluid was fine but Evan’s heartbeat kept decelerating which caused a worry and found us in labor and delivery for further monitoring. After a morning being hooked up to various machines we were finally sent home after they were happy that Evan was not in distress. An appointment was made for the following Monday for another stress test. Jenn had been pretty sure that we were not going to be sent home from the hospital and instead would be admitted and was pretty sure that Evan would be delivered before we could attend the appointment on Monday morning. It turns out Jenn was correct about not making the Monday appointment!!

After the false alarm of Friday morning, I went home and immediately went into high gear packing a bag for the hospital and organizing as much stuff at home as possible for a few days away. Jenn had told us to expect Evan to be born later that day, or if not Friday, then Saturday for sure! I was not totally convinced since she was only 37 weeks, but of course Jenn is an expert and should always be believed! My Mum was arriving at LAX to stay with us and help out with the twins and new baby and I really hoped she would make it before Evan was born.

Nothing happened on Friday, all was quiet until Saturday morning when Jenn and Raymond contacted us to say it was probably best not to travel to LAX that day since Jenn was having serious contractions. We made sure we had everything ready and carried on as usual on Saturday whilst keeping in close contact with Jenn and the updates on her condition. Jenn phoned labor and delivery a few times to check in and they told her not to come in until she couldn’t talk through her contracts, which I thought was a little crazy since she has a very high tolerance for pain!!! Everything seemed to calm down a little on Saturday afternoon, so I went to pick up my Mum from LAX and thankfully nothing went down while I was driving there or back!

In the evening we had just decided to try and get some rest in case it was some time before we had to leave for the hospital when Raymond called to say it was time and they were heading out!!! We left immediately and arrived at the hospital at about 10pm while Jenn was being assessed in triage. We waited a while and I will admit the waiting made me very edgy, it was hard not knowing what was happening and how Jenn was feeling. It’s very difficult knowing someone you care about is going through pain and knowing you just can’t do anything useful to help.

Raymond came to collect us and we found that Jenn was well into labor and had been moved to labor and delivery. He bought us back and we saw Jenn and I was happy to see how in control and calm she was. From then on things were amazing and unbelievable. We chatted and joked for a while and Jenn was reviewed to see how she was progressing. Things were going great, and Jenn was handling the contractions amazingly. We thought we would be there a long time while Jenn labored, but that was not to be the case! It was a little later than 11pm when they told us they were going to break her water and it immediately kicked off!! Breaking her water bought on a huge contraction which made Jenn’s pain so bad it was hard to sit helplessly and watch her go through it knowing there was nothing we could do to help her. Raymond is an amazing support and talked her though everything so calmly. We were told that it would probably be another couple of hours until the baby was born and we had joked with Jenn that it would be great if she could give birth before midnight because it would make the twins and Evan exactly three and a half years apart in age. Jenn laughed and said it was impossible but apparently that was not the case since almost immediately her water broke Jenn said baby Evan was being born! All the hospital staff came back in and they tried to tell Jenn to stop pushing so she could be checked as it wasn’t likely she was giving birth yet. As we have come to understand Jenn knows exactly what she is talking about and began to get a little disturbed that no one seemed to be taking her seriously when she announced she had to push, she had no choice and baby Evan was on his way into the world RIGHT NOW!!

It all happened so fast that we didn’t even have the time to get over to the bed from the side of the room before Evan was placed on top of Jenn’s tummy and the delivery staff didn’t even get the time to put gloves on!

Our perfect little boy was born at 11.26pm weighing 6lbs 12.1oz. I was so shocked that as Chris was cutting the umbilical cord I couldn’t even remember how to turn on our camera to capture the event and had to hand it to one of the nursing staff. The birth of Evan is a memory I will treasure forever, to think that we were there from our new sons first moments in the world is beyond something I have ever been able to imagine.

The first few moments it looked as if he was doing well, but then it seemed he was struggling to breath and the NICU team had to be called to review him. He had fluid in his lungs which probably resulted from such a quick entry into the world, but thankfully he was given a clean bill of health once he had received some oxygen.

We all got to stay together undisturbed for the first hour after Evans birth and I managed to breastfeed for the first time, it worked and I was shocked! I can’t even begin to describe how amazing it was sharing that first hour with Chris, Jenn, Raymond and baby Evan, everything we’ve dreamed about and all Jenn’s nurturing had resulted in our miracle.

We were fortunate to be able to move together to a double room so we could all hang out together. We spend the night answering questions, being checked and checked again! It made for a busy night with little sleep, but having baby Evan sleeping by our side was a wonderful experience. The next day Jenn’s children came to visit and it was so lovely to see how happy they were to see Evan. Since Jenn was doing so well the hospital agreed to release us the next day, less than twenty four hours after she gave birth and we went home to start our lives as a family of five.

Everything turned out so perfectly, Jenn had the VBAC that we all wanted for her and everything went as planned if just a little faster than expected! Sarah and Jacob are totally in love with their little brother and can’t get enough of him. Two weeks on I am still a little in denial that I am a new Mum and not a full time babysitter, but I couldn’t love him any more than I do and I know in time I will come to realize that no one can come and take him from us and he is here for the long haul. I can’t wait to watch him grow and see the person he becomes.

I am in awe of our little man and every day I remember exactly why we were so lucky to have him in our lives. Without the giving heart of Jenn and her family we would never know the joy of Evan and for that we will always have an extra special place for Jenn, Raymond and their family in our hearts and lives.